Online Business Freedom

I had an interesting experience recently that made me realize how important it is to hang out with people who are inspirational, creative, and positive, as opposed to low energy, self deprecating, and full of pity.

Yes this may sound obvious, but sometimes you don’t realize that a person is a “downer” because you’ve been friends for a long time and you’ve accepted them for “who they are”.

Anyhow, I hung out with 2 friends on consecutive days for lunch. Perhaps it was because they were back to back encounters that this lesson was so apparant.

My first friend absolutely glows with positive energy. He is simply a joy to be around. Not only are his words encouraging and thoughtful he is an excellent listener and pushes me to be the best person I can be.

Often he gives me challenges in order to take my thinking and actions to a higher level. For instance he’ll say, “James I challenge you to overcome that bad habit by taking a 21 day vow to eliminate it from your life. In 21 days we’re going to have lunch again and you better give me some good news!”

The most amazing thing is that he is always like this: happy, energetic, and optimistic. And he tells me it’s because he CHOOSES to be happy, no matter what the circumstances.

It helps that he is enormously successful in his career, but I believe that his positive personality and his business success are linked.

For instance, his company (which he owns) was severely affected by the recent writer’s strike in Hollywood, but not ONCE did I see him down and out, feeling sorry for himself.

When I would talk to him about his business, he would always tell me about the ways they were getting AROUND the writer’s strike, and succeeding despite it.

And now that the strike was over, he was just buzzing with positive energy and enthusiasm.

Needless to say I left our lunch as I always do after one of our meetings: Alive, joyful, and full of optimism.

Now compare that to the lunch I had the very next day at the SAME RESTAURANT!

I hadn’t seen this particular friend in a few years due to career changes and schedule conflicts. But I remember him being a slightly cynical, yet essentially a good hearted guy.

I was genuinely interested to see how he was doing so I agreed to have lunch with him.

The first sign that this was going to be a “pity party” was that he called me a half hour before our lunch to ask me if I wanted to carpool so we could save money on the valet parking charge.

What?

The valet was maybe $5 max?

Not wanting to bring up a potentially sensitive money situation I agreed for him to pick me up.

Moments after we began driving another car cut in front of us without signaling.

Much to my surprise he began spewing the most foul and abusive language that I had ever heard in my life.

Now I know some people with road rage, especially here in LA, but this guy would have made a sailor blush.

As soon as we pulled into the parking lot and the valet took the car, he wouldn’t give the man any of his own cash until, in his terms, I “coughed up my half”. And then he followed this statement with a loud guffaw and a slap on my back. I just forced a smile, trying to humor him.

When we were seated he made several jokes about “just eating the bread and leaving.” It was mildly amusing the first time, but got gradually more annoying after 34 references.

When we got to talking, I found out (and wasn’t very surprised) that he was unemployed and looking for the “right opportunity” to come along.

Concepts like “looking for the right opportunity” and “waiting” are so foreign to me at this point I politely pointed out that maybe he should take some initiative to seek out these opportunities instead of waiting for them to fall in his lap.

He stared at me like I had a potato for a head and began telling me all the reasons why this was impossible. The lousy economy, how he wouldn’t settle for anything less than what he was worth, etc, etc, etc…

By the time our lunch was over I felt drained, depleted, and unhappy.

Maybe I wasn’t as energy sensitive when we first hung out a few years ago, or maybe it was the fact that he had a steady paycheck that made him less of a drag back then.

But whatever the case I made it clear in my mind to cut him out of my life until he learned to stop feeling sorry for himself.

Look at the people you surround yourself with in your life. Are they positive influences who make you feel better about yourself? Or do they drain you of your creativity and life force?

Make the decision to eliminate the people who want you to join their “pity party” and start associating with those of similar or higher energy levels, especially those who are more successful than you.

When you do this you’ll feel your energy levels shoot up and your creativity and success begin to reach new heights as well.

-James D. Lee

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